OF MISCARRIAGES AND MIRACLES

By Ana Celina D. Aboganda from my Facebook Notes published on February 4, 2011
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001667541359&ref=hpbday#!/note.php?note_id=151471368240153

Nothing can ever ease the pain of separation.

Like a whirlwind, "everything happened so fast." There was barely time to rejoice. The day that we saw our tiny baby in the ultrasound monitor and felt the rush when the doctor showed us the signs of his/her heartbeat, was the same day s/he left my body.

For the next two days I did nothing but talk to God, wrestle with Him, and plead to let me keep my baby.

This morning, before going to the doctor where we eventually learned that what we feared did happen, I told God that after losing my parents, losing our child would really hurt so much. In short I was saying, "Please not this time, Lord. Not this time."

I knew I was praying to a God Whose love is steadfast. Who healed the sick with just a Word. Who raised people from the dead. Surely miracles such as the one I was asking is so easy for Him to perform.

Now why did God say "No"?

I would like to be able to say that I understand. That I know that something good will come out of it. That I am strong and unshaken. But the truth is, I am grieving and I'm not even concerned about "the light at the end of the tunnel."

Still every time Jesus turns to ask me, "Nina, will this hardship cause you to leave Me?" All I can do is echo Peter's words in John 6: 68-69 "Lord, to whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal life, and I have believed, and have come to know, that You are the Holy One of God." No matter how tough it gets, there's no better place to be than with Jesus. And even if I will never understand, I know that God's will in our lives is always always ALWAYS motivated by His perfect love.

Even after experiencing the loss of my parents, I am still not used to the pain of separation. To think I only had a "relationship" with my baby for 5 weeks...

But as I write this I am reminded that the worst separation is that of separation from God for eternity. No matter how one may get used to living his/her life on Earth separated from God, once the separation is made permanent in death, nothing will ever ease that pain.

Thank you to all those who rejoiced when you learned about my pregnancy. How we pray soooo much that the celebration could have lasted longer...

I pray, for what it's worth, you would celebrate with us in eternity by checking out the Jesus we have come to believe. Not for His miracles, or even for the blessings, or prayers that were answered. Not even for His promises of an abundant life. But for His love that motivated Him to come down on Earth, live the life of a man, experience the hurts we all have and more, and die a gruesome death on the Cross. All just so we won't suffer the pain of being separated from Him.

Certainly, committing to Him won't guarantee a life of joyful bliss. But it guarantees LIFE---meaningful and eternal.