OF MISCARRIAGES AND MIRACLES

By Ana Celina D. Aboganda from my Facebook Notes published on February 4, 2011
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001667541359&ref=hpbday#!/note.php?note_id=151471368240153

Nothing can ever ease the pain of separation.

Like a whirlwind, "everything happened so fast." There was barely time to rejoice. The day that we saw our tiny baby in the ultrasound monitor and felt the rush when the doctor showed us the signs of his/her heartbeat, was the same day s/he left my body.

For the next two days I did nothing but talk to God, wrestle with Him, and plead to let me keep my baby.

This morning, before going to the doctor where we eventually learned that what we feared did happen, I told God that after losing my parents, losing our child would really hurt so much. In short I was saying, "Please not this time, Lord. Not this time."

I knew I was praying to a God Whose love is steadfast. Who healed the sick with just a Word. Who raised people from the dead. Surely miracles such as the one I was asking is so easy for Him to perform.

Now why did God say "No"?

I would like to be able to say that I understand. That I know that something good will come out of it. That I am strong and unshaken. But the truth is, I am grieving and I'm not even concerned about "the light at the end of the tunnel."

Still every time Jesus turns to ask me, "Nina, will this hardship cause you to leave Me?" All I can do is echo Peter's words in John 6: 68-69 "Lord, to whom shall I go? You have the words of eternal life, and I have believed, and have come to know, that You are the Holy One of God." No matter how tough it gets, there's no better place to be than with Jesus. And even if I will never understand, I know that God's will in our lives is always always ALWAYS motivated by His perfect love.

Even after experiencing the loss of my parents, I am still not used to the pain of separation. To think I only had a "relationship" with my baby for 5 weeks...

But as I write this I am reminded that the worst separation is that of separation from God for eternity. No matter how one may get used to living his/her life on Earth separated from God, once the separation is made permanent in death, nothing will ever ease that pain.

Thank you to all those who rejoiced when you learned about my pregnancy. How we pray soooo much that the celebration could have lasted longer...

I pray, for what it's worth, you would celebrate with us in eternity by checking out the Jesus we have come to believe. Not for His miracles, or even for the blessings, or prayers that were answered. Not even for His promises of an abundant life. But for His love that motivated Him to come down on Earth, live the life of a man, experience the hurts we all have and more, and die a gruesome death on the Cross. All just so we won't suffer the pain of being separated from Him.

Certainly, committing to Him won't guarantee a life of joyful bliss. But it guarantees LIFE---meaningful and eternal.

THIS IS MY LIFE

by Ana Celina D. Aboganda from my Facebook Notes last February 16, 2011; http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001667541359&ref=hpbday#!/note.php?note_id=154400081280615

It was the wee hours of the morning, I felt nauseous and sick. I kept thinking whether or not I should get back to work. There was a strong temptation to just stay curled up in bed, "shielded" from the outside world.

But the three verses that have always been directing my life kept coming back to me. More and more I have come to realize that God is giving me the opportunity to experience, live out, and understand these verses in my life...

Acts 20:24

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.

Mark 12:30

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'

Luke 14:33

In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

I kept hearing the lie that I needed to get my feelings in order first before I move on. But God keeps saying to me that to love Him is not just about what my heart and soul feels. I am also to love Him with all my mind and strength. Despite the feelings.

The Holy Spirit kept reminding me "Consider your life worth nothing to you, Nins, if only to testify to the Gospel of God's grace." It was because of that grace that I was able to prepare to go back to work.As if God was affirming me, I immediately received a text from Mela, one of our student volunteers in Miriam, that her professor scheduled us to share the Gospel with her class the next day! Though I've experienced many classroom evangelisms and get excited in each one, this was particularly special because this was a first in Miriam!ü

We went and spoke to that class with the goal of blessing their hearts, but God faithfully blessed our hearts, as well, seeing Him work in and through us. I was inspired to see the ladies from the Miriam Team serve out of the overflow of God's love despite the trials and hurts they themselves were experiencing. The professor also encouraged and comforted me in the hurts I was feeling after the miscarriage.

Today was filled with opportunities to share the Gospel---to an entire class and to individual students. As I sat in the campus corridors, this overwhelming feeling of joy and peace enveloped me. I was exactly where God wanted me to be, doing exactly what He wants me to do. Suddenly, the tears that flowed for days have finally dried. I now know, the blessings do not define my life... It is sharing Jesus Christ. That gives me life.

This year God's theme for me has been about counting the cost of being His disciple.

I have learned, salvation is free and discipleship is costly. But hearing Jesus say "well done" is priceless.

Children of GOD

Luke 9:48

“Then He said to them, ‘Whoever welcomes this little child in My Name welcomes Me; and whoever welcomes Me welcomes the One who sent Me. For he who is least among you all—he is the greatest.’”

When I was a kid, I enjoyed playing, drawing, watching television, etc. This was all I desire during that time. What a naïve thing to desire, but I can say, I was the innocence in me that led me to these petty hobbies. Looking at kids, their desires are not the same as we old people have.

I remember when I got a little bit older, I had a crush with this girl and started to court her. I was just a teenager (*teenage relationships is not a thing in the Philippines, the outside world just presented it to us) and because of this desire of mine to have somebody to love (romantically) I did the stupidest of things.

Did you notice, my desires were a bit different when I was still so young as a boy and when I entered adolescence?

Jesus is telling the disciples, “Whoever receives this little child…” Anyone who accepts this child, receive it as if he were to be like a child—welcomes Jesus, which transcends welcoming God, the Father. Simply, Jesus is telling us to be just like this child—innocent, humble and easy to itself. He should desire the little things and not think about the big things—where is my seat of honor, where is my grand reception… This is not what God wants—He wants humility, just like what Jesus exemplified as He was obedient to the cross.

Ask yourselves then, “ako ba’y parang bata sa mata ng Dios?” “Am I humble, easy to myself and quiet in the eyes of people?”

Pray that God teaches us to be just like a CHILD.

The Path of a Prayer Warrior

I was able to be given an opportunity or a privilege by God to speak about "Prayer" in my home church. I'd like you to study with me, what God has impressed upon me how to be "A Prayer Warrior!"

Note: Sorry for the serious face, I was so stiff, I was having a serious stage fright hahahaha! But God gave me strength to speak, praise God!

The One Crucified

Luke 23: 26
As they led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.

This specific event in the passion of Jesus always puzzled me. It struck me as a detail of great significance, but I couldn't really grasp what it meant. Until one conversation with Yuklid in the bus. It was after the high school camp and he was sharing with me how he was touched after watching that very same scene in the movie, Passion of the Christ.



I've always wondered why Simon had to carry the cross, and why Jesus allowed it. Though technically He didn't ask for it, I wondered why Jesus let someone "help" Him with what was supposed to be His sacrifice?

In this season of my life, I find myself asking essentially the same question. I know that Jesus' cross is enough for me and is all that I need, but why do I still find myself wanting? The cross is Jesus' complete expression of His love, but why doesn't it help with my pain? Why don't I feel like He's loving me?

What Jesus said in " Luke 14:27 And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. " comes to mind every time.

Why do I still have to carry a cross? It's too heavy.

Yux said something important that hit me (obvious as it may be, I missed it) when we carry our cross, all we see is the cross we're carrying and forget that Christ is also right there.

I was too focused on my cross. I didn't realize that though I am carrying my cross for a time, at the end of the day, Jesus is still the One crucified and not me.

Just A.S.K.

"How to ask, seek and knock."

Matthew 7:7-8

⁷"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Just ASK! We forget to ask because (1) We are busy with so many things like trying to look for answers outside the Will of God, (2) We don't want to bother God because maybe, just maybe, He'd be angry at us for waking Him up early in the morning just to ask for help, and (3) We have forgotten that our God makes everything possible, even if it's humanly impossible.

We box God into our own context, or experience, or even meaning, that our relationship with God as Father has become distorted. For example, we ask God for something and not get it -- we get angry with God and think of Him as a Father who really doesn't care. Do you sometimes receive a "No" answer from God to your prayers? Well, surely, there is nothing wrong with God, maybe there is something wrong with the request you have (read James 4:2-3). God wants to hear from you, He wants to bless you "but" since He is our Father, "He knows what's best for us." Who are we to say that we know what's best when the One who created us in our mothers' womb knows the purpose of our very existence.

Another type of boxing God in this A.S.K. context is this: we seek, but we seek the wrong things. We seek for ways to answer our problems not letting God interfere. We let God interfere when all our resources are gone. Wouldn't it best if right after a "need" we go immediately to our Father? But we tend to forget this, that the Creator has everything that we need. We just need to seek Him first. (read Matthew 6:33)

Seek (in greek means) "to seek [in order to find out] by thinking, meditating, reasoning, to enquire into"

Isaiah 1:18-19, God says ...¹⁸ "Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. ¹⁹ If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land;

Do you seek God earnestly? Do you really want Him? God invites you to reason with Him, talk to Him like human, tell Him what you feel.

Learn to knock. Whenever I go home, I always knock when I don't have the keys to the house. If I need to pee, I knock rapidly because I need to call the attention of the people inside the house. Isn't prayer the same thing? The only box that we have here is that, we only pray when we need to ask God a favor which so many times turns out to be a very big favor. We need to knock on God's not only when you need it but every day, hour, minute. He is a Father, not an earthly Father but your Father most High! He is concerned about you and what you're going through. He wants to know what you are feeling, and He wants you to wait on Him. Even if you're waiting for so long, wait for him.

I just want to end the devotional with this story: After a couple of months in my first job in an advertising firm, I was put in a team that advertised liquor. The liquor was called this "devils" name, and I was having a hard time really advertising that brand. It was the hardest time because God led me to resign. I turned to human answers and it didn't supply any good solutions, so I what did I do? Ask, seek, and knock. I resigned after a struggle with God but right after that He showed me why it was it was the right response for me to do. I earned more after than that first job.

So are you really A.S.K.ing? Learn and ask God how to ask, seek and knock.

God bless!